Let's Go Back in Time

 I saw online this journal prompt, and it was, "If you could relive any day but only pick 1, which one would you pick to relive one more time?". Well, here's my answer:

I want to go back to the day March 12, 2020. While it's a rather recent date, it's a day that I will never forget and will always be held close to my heart. It was a day I realized who I was, and I let go of a part of me that should've been gone a long time ago. This day was day #3 of my senior year retreat; we had no phones, no technology. It was just me, my friends, and the world around us. Our brains were turned off from the chaotic mess we left at home, and we just spent time in each others' presence. During the retreat, we laughed, we cried (and I mean bawled our eyes out), we goofed off, we got serious, we got to know each other more, and we learned more about ourselves than ever before. The self-realization we experienced was unreal, and I will forever be grateful for that.

There was one part of that day that will always stick with me, and that I will always remember so vividly. My friends and I were listening to one of our leaders give their speech, and it was about being our true selves and the things that inhibit us from doing that. Another thing that our leader spoke about was how the only way to move one from things that hurt us, is to forgive those who hurt us. The moment he said that, I began to cry; not because it was sad, but because it felt like a weight lifted off my shoulder, a weight that I can't even explain or put into words. It felt as if God was holding me, and I was safe from the rest of the world. During that time, I found it really hard to forgive myself, mainly to forgive myself for being so self-destructive. I couldn't bring myself to do it, because I felt like I had to be the best version of myself. That was the only way people were going to like me, and wow was I wrong. I felt the love of my friends around me, and I realized that being my true self was what the world wanted, and nothing more. This day will forever be one of my core memories, because it was a day that I started to embrace my true self. The raw emotions that I let take over be was so freeing, and it felt so good. I wish one day I may be able to experience that again. 

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